Shots
by AlphaFeels
Summary: Merlin is hopeless, alcohol is the only cure also surprise buttsex at some point :3
1. Break Up Poetry

'Break-up poetry! You're writing break up poetry?'

_Silence _

'Jesus! Were you even listening to me! You weren't listening to a single word I said, were you? You could have at least been listening to the last part, you know the part were I said he was an ass hole?'

'I can write whatever I want…' Merlin mumbled.

'No! No you can't! Get up you twat I'm taking you out and you are going to get a grip and have a life.'

'No! I don't want to go out, out is a terrible idea.' Mumbly Merlin said as he buried himself further under his duvet.

'Well yes going out like this-' Will said and then stopped to make stupid hand gestures in Merlin's general direction 'is a terrible idea. When was the last time you had a shower? Or shaved?'

'ummmm-'

'Get a grip Merlin! Its been three weeks already! Come on you need to get over him already.' Will said sternly as he crashed through all the crap cluttered around Merlin's desk. 'You are going to shower and shave and dress up nice and then we are going out. Now!'

_Smack! _

'Aaah! What the hell was that for I'm getting up alright!' Grumped Merlin while rubbing the back of his head 'You didn't have to hit me!'

'Thats for making me come down here in the first place you dollop-head!'

'Clot-pole!'

'Poof!'

'Twat!'

'Git!'

'Pig!'

'Hamster-!' 'face..'

'You nutter- haaha -what kind of insult is- bahhahaha- hamster face?' Merlin was laughing so hard that tears were streaming down his face and his cheeks hurt from smiling so much all of a sudden. A good yell at Will always made him feel better, Merlin supposed that sounded a bit strange but Will really came up with the worst insults it really was hilarious.

'Okay I'll be ready in ten.' Merlin said as he finally got up from under his pile of sweet wrappers, empty crisp packets, socks and *scrumpled up paper.

'More like twenty..' muttered Will as he watched Merlin stagger into the bathroom.


	2. Shots! Shots! Shots!

**About half an hour later **

'About bloody time! Oh and look at that, you look like Merlin again as opposed to a crazy homeless man.'

'Shut-up. Do you want me to come out or not?'

'Come on hamster face let's rock and roll!' and with that Will proceeded to drag Merlin out the door while babbled about Lance and Gwaine, but Merlin wasn't really listening he was busy trying to smother the need to run back inside and hide under his duvet, and maybe cry…

**Hours and a ridiculous amount of alcohol later… **

'Shots! Shots! Shots!' yelled Merlin over the music 'Come on Will-ie-ham shots, shots!'

'Uh no way! I'm goin' home!'

'Aw but Willlllll it's no fun if you leave!' whined a very, very drunk Merlin.

'Hey Merlin! Oh God how much have you had to drink?' Lance asked as he watched the dark haired man sway from side to side.

'Hellloooo Mr designated sniverrr!' Merlin slurred as he spun round almost in time with the music.

'Do you want a lift home Merlin? I can take you too there's plenty room in the jeep if you want to lie down in the back or-.'

'Nope! Bye now!' and off Merlin went.

'Good Lord, do you think he'll be okay?'

'Merlin's a big boy he can handle himself and Gwaine can always lock him in the store cupboard. Now can you please take me home I think I'm gonna barf!' moaned Will as he clutched his stomach dramatically.

'I'd rather you went to the bathroom if your going to be sick.'

'Home! Homehomehomehome!'

'Fine. Fine, but remind me why do I drive you children around again?'

'Becau- AAAH!' Will yelled as he tripped over his own feet.

'Be careful. Come on Will let's get you home.' and all thoughts of Merlin were pushed back as Lance dragged Will back to the jeep, drove him home and tucked him into bed. Paracetamol and water on the bedside table and everything.

**A little while later (after closing time to be precise) **

'Ugh- ….Gwaine?'

'I'm right here mate, your alright, here have some water and you'll feel a bit better.'

'Out was a terrible idea' Merlin sobbed against his best, bartender, friend.

'Come on you need to get some sleep.'

'No- no can't walk. Room spinning!' Merlin groaned as he wobbled.

'Come on you need to sleep this off.' Gwaine reasoned as he scooped Merlin up into his arms.

'No I'm not tired I'm just sad! I just need to- hmmph' Gwaine plopped Merlin down on the bed and tucked the duvet over him making sure he was warm but not smothered.

'Merlin I'm right here, yeah? So if you need anything just wake me- oh and if you feel like you might be sick j-' but he was cut off by a snuffely kind of snore. 'Night Merlin.' And with that Gwaine shut off the light and got into bed himself.

**The Next Morning **

'Oh fuck…' groaned Merlin as he curled up again under the duvet in an attempt to block out all the light.

'Finally awake then?' came Gwaine's voice from somewhere in the kitchen, Merlin could smell bacon and the hiss of oil and suddenly the morning didn't feel so terrible.

'Would there by any chance be fried bread? Not that I want any or anything.' Merlin asked through the wall.

'Always thinking of food.' Grinned Gwaine from the door, apron on and tea towel over his shoulder. It made Merlin want to giggle. Which probably meant he was still a little drunk… Oh well!

'So fried bread, fried bread Gwaine?'

'You can't rush these things.'

'Fine. What time is it?'

'About twelveish- oh wait, yeah seven minutes, 10- 11 seconds past twelve!'

'Shut up! Ten past twelve would have been fine you know.' Merlin scowled at the loudness of his own voice. 'Uh Gwaine we didn't- you know?' asked as he finally noticed the absents of his trousers.

'Chance would be nice but no you were so drunk I didn't want you going home and uh watching you puke your guts up wasn't a turn on if I'm honest.' he said winking at Merlin before disappearing back into the kitchen.

'Food.' Merlin heard Gwaine say a few minutes later but he didn't move until me heard the clink of the plate on the table.

'Dizzy. So dizzy. Food first, die later.' Merlin grumbled as he stumbled and slid his way to Gwaine's little kitchenette as quickly as his hung over ass would let him.

'Don't eat it too quickly. And don't look at me like that I know what your like.' but even with Gwaine's warning ten minutes later Merlin was crawling across the floor to the sofa.

'Stupid food! Stupid hangover! Stupid fried bread!' groaned Merlin as he final flopped himself down on the sofa. 'Never feed me fried food again.'

'I've heard that before.' He heard Gwaine chuckle.


	3. I Blame Vodka

**The next day around seven **

Right it's just friends hanging out, there will be booze and laughter and dvds it's cool you can handle. Merlin told himself as he fiddled with his fringe, his shirt buttons, his shoe laces and just about everything he could find to fidget with. Calm down it's just friends, just Gwaine and Lance, Will, Morgana and Gwen it'll be fun, this is nothing to freak out about! He told himself sternly as he flung his jacket on and stamped noisily out of his flat as if he was marching off to battle.

**A little while later (Gwen's flat)**

'Merlin!' Merlin heard Gwen squeal as she flung herself towards him.

'Hi Gwen.'

'Next time call! I missed you!'

'Not so tight I can't really breathe.' laughed Merlin.

'Sorry. Sorry.'

Taking Merlin's hand Gwen led Merlin through the rest of the flat to the living room were he was attacked by more women.

'Freya I didn't know you were coming up.'

'Last minute thing, I came up for Lamia's birthday really but I couldn't really miss a chance to see my favorite emo!' Freya smiled as she too took her turn to bounce into Merlin's arms.

Freya felt like home, she reminded Merlin of quiet streets and friendly smiles. Aside from Will, Freya was one of Merlin's oldest friends. In high school they had been inseparable, the three musketeers, Merlin, Freya and Will. But unlike Will, Freya had stayed at home when Merlin had left for the city life.

When Merlin was finally free he plonked himself down on the sofa next to Morgana, who like Will had decided violence was the only way to get through to Merlin, who smacked him on the back of the head.

'He wasn't worth it.'

'You know that every time you guys hit me I loose like 2,000 brain cells! Also you know abuse and stuff.' Merlin complained as he massaged the back of his head and checked for lumps.

'Baby.' Will coughed.

'Idiot.'

'Well you aren't helping if you keep beating me up!'

'Leave Merlin alone you two he's had a hard couple of weeks and-'

'Gwen really I-'

'And-'

'Movie! Movie!' Yelled Will from across the room in an attempt to save everyone from Gwen.

'Right I'll go make some popcorn then.' and off she went into the kitchen. 'Lance, some help?' she asked sweetly.

**Half a movie and two bowls of popcorn later **(Will and Gwaine had, had a popcorn fight with the first bowl)

_Knock! Knock! _

'Meerrrlinn!' everyone shouted.

'No fair.' he huffed as he made his way to the door.

'Uh hi. Who are you?'

'Merlin you can't just ask people that!' someone, probably Freya, she was always correcting his manners, yelled from the living room.

'Mmm sorry are you here to see- Gwen!' Merlin jumped as Gwen appeared behind him.

'Merlin this is Arthur, Morgana's brother.' she smiled, opening the door wider and waved him in.

'Half brother.'

'Yeah! No I knew that- sorry I didn't mean- I-!' Gwen stuttered helplessly.

'Gwen it's alright don't fuss.' And as if he was used to people over reacting he patted Gwen affectionately on the arm, before continuing on through the flat. Maybe he was used to it; he was related to Gana after all.

'Morgana invited him. Hello? Merlin are you in there?'

'Sorry?' Merlin had absolutely no idea what Gwen had been saying he'd been to busy memorizing Arthur's perfect arse and perfect smile to listen.

By the time Merlin had floated back to the living room Morgana was already beating Arthur senseless.

'umm.' he cleared his throat. Arthur was sitting in his seat…

'Ah Merlin. Sit down. Right here. Beside Arthur!' Morgana ordered.

'Okay…'

Merlin had never felt so stupid in his entire life! Not when he'd been caught hiding porn as a teenager or when he'd gone to a uni lecture in inside out clothes.

The way his heart was racing, the way that every time their knees bumped or hands touched it felt like electric shocks shooting through his skin it made him feel like a teenage girl. And the stupid thing was that he was feeling all of this towards a complete stranger, a complete stranger who was very likely very, very straight and no way interested in skinny, stubbley, penisy people!

'Merlin!'

'Hmmm.'

'Merlin votes yes!' Smiled Freya wickedly.

'Votes yes to what exactly?' he asked genuinely scared by way Morgana and Freya looked so happy/evil. Evil. Yup they were defiantly evil. Evil shapeshifting witches of some kind.

'Truth or dare!' Gana beamed. 'We'll start now! Okay Gwen! Truth or dare?'

'Umm truth…' Gwen said nervously.

'Have you ever fantasized about anyone in this room?' Gana grinned.

'Uh-'

'Sexually.' Will chimed in a wicked grin stretching from ear to ear.

'Maybe..I…yes' Gwen breathed her face flushed and her eyes all shiny.

'Who?'

'One question isn't that the rule? My turn Gwaine truth or dare?'

'Dare! Hit me with you best shot girly!'

Morgana sat whispering in Gwen's ear for a few moments before finally giggling they came up with 'We dare you to drink vodka from a sock!'

'Fine. Merlin give me your sock!' Gwaine commanded stretching his hand out towards Merlin expectantly.

'Waah?'

'Merlin you happen to have very nice feet as you well know. Now hand over the sock!' but just as Gwaine was about to wrestle Merlin to the ground for his sock Gana interrupted.

'No, no, no, we hadn't finished saying whose sock you had to use.'

'Fine then whose sock do I have to use?' he huffed while crossing his arms.

'Why our dear William's wonderfully aromatic socks.' and this time everyone burst into shrieking laughter, well everyone except Gwaine who was starting to look a little sea sick oh and Arthur he didn't seem to think it was funny… He probably just hadn't had enough to drink yet.

**Ten minutes of smelly socks, vodka and vomiting. **

'That was the most disgusting ten minutes of my life Gwaine!' Freya blurted as Gwaine walked back in face washed and breath fresh smelling. Gwen must have some powerful mouth wash in her bathroom Merlin thought as he leaned in close to do a breath check on Gwaine.

'If you lean any closer Merlin I might have to kiss you.' the less smelly bartender teased as he sat down again, this time Merlin on his right, Freya on his left.

'W-w-wah no- I was I-I-' Merlin stammered.

'Soo my turn! Mmmm I pick-' Gwaine pretended to think about it. 'Merlin!'

Gods save me! 'Truth!' Merlin blurted before Gwaine had a chance to ask.

'Hmm well Merlin…. Hmmmm.'

'Oh come on Sir Puck-a-lot ask your question and stop being dramatic.'

'Fine. Merlin, Merlin my love who has lovely feet. Would you please answer my very important question? Was Gilli a better shag than me? Be honest I can take it!'

'Ummm..not- not really.' Merlin mumbled as his face burned scarlet.

'What was that Merlin didn't quite hear you?'

'You were better.' He groaned covering his face with his hands.

'Ah thank you! Thank you!' Gwaine said as he mock bowed as if everyone was clapping. They weren't they were just laughing hysterically. Although once again Arthur sat quietly this time looking a little confused as he looked at Merlin.

'Will have my turn! Gana can I talk to you?'

'Yeah sure what is it?'

_Door shuts_

'Does Arthur have something against me? I mean I don't know how he could I mean we've never met or anything and he seems nice but he doesn't seem to be having fun and well-'

'You're babbling.'

'Sorry.. It's just-'

'He's just nervous. It's the first time he's been around you guys. And well I think that he well, I did hope that..'

'What?'

'Nothing. Let's go get drunk.'

'Alright!'

**Too many truths and way too many dares later. **

'So pick up a party bag to take home the fun we had in this vanilla sky!' they all sang even 'shy' Arthur. Gwen's neighbors were probably ready to kill them as they stomped around to IBlameCoco singing every word amazingly out of tune and having the time if their lives!


	4. Oops

**The next morning/afternoon (Oh and look who's flat their in)**

_Hmmm cozy… Need more… Mm smells nice._ Merlin was drifting in and out of consciousness. _So warm… _

'Uh Merls?'

_I don't want to talk to stupid voices just need more cosy, warm… _'Hpff'

_Poke! _

'Oww!' gasped Merlin.

'Welcome to the world of the living.'

'Uh Gwaine..' Merlin crocked his voice sore from booze and singing?

'Yeah?'

'Oh god!' Merlin groaned as his head rung from too much thinking.

'Merlin. About last night-'

'What are you talking about? I'm tired and I just want to get you to shut up and then go back to sleep.'

'Merlin. Are you still asleep or something?'

'Of course I'm not bloody asleep cause you woke me up! That's why I'm lying here with- OH!' Merlin gasped as it hit him. 'We did didn't we?'

Gwaine just nodded.

'Sorry.' Merlin mumbled as he buried himself under the duvet. _Oh god they weren't supposed to be doing this anymore! _

'Why are you apologizing? We didn't do anything wrong, did we? Merlin?' Gwaine asked sounding a little sad now.

'No! I don't regret what we did but I thought that we'd agreed not to do this anymore I mean-'

'Don't over think it.' And Gwaine pulled Merlin back into his arms and soon Merlin fell asleep again…


	5. A Wild Morgana Appeared

**Later that day around five-ish (Merlin has escaped back to his hovel) **

_Ping _

Were on earth is that phone? I really should put it somewhere were I'll remember.

_Ping _

'Uh! This is getting ridiculous were are you! HA! Got you little-'

_Ping _

Three text messages, from Morgana never a good sign.

He opened up the first one it read:

**Merlin care to tell me why left you and Gwaine left together last night? M **

He opened the second:

**MERLIN! If you're busy playing octopus boy with Gwaine right now I swear I'll come round and beat you both black and blue! M**

He opened the third:

**That's it I'm coming round! M **

_Knock! Knock! _

Here we go he thought as he braced himself before opening the door.

'Morgana, what a pleasant surprise.' 'Please come in.' he said sarcastically as she barged past him.

'MERLIN EMRYS! HOW COULD YOU!' Morgana shouted as she slammed his flat door shut.

'What? What have I done now?' he asked taking his hands away from his ears in the hopes that she'd stop shouting.

'You know exactly what I mean Merlin.'

'Nope, I really don't.'

'Oh for gods sake! Merlin I'm one of your best friends and I just want to see you happy but really how is being fuck buddies with Gwaine again a good idea?'

'Look Gwaine and I are both adults and it was just a-'

'Just a what? You're not nineteen anymore Merlin, how are you ever supposed to meet _the one_ if your not even trying?'

'Maybe Gwaine and I are being serious this time.' Merlin huffed, crossing his arms defiantly.

'Are you? Are you being serious this time?'

'Well-' Merlin started.

'You can't honestly tell me that you're both happy to just fuck, what if one of you finds someone else what's the other one going to do?'

'Fancy a coffee?' Merlin said in an attempt to avoid answering. Gana huffed but let it go, well for now.

Morgana left soon afterwards, some printer related emergency at work or something. He saw her out and once alone Morgana's words ran through his head again. Maybe he should try harder.


End file.
